My Own Mortality

Nobody thinks it will happen to them. We look around at our loved ones or our friends and we are don’t often think of them dying. We see them call mom, vibrant and alive. Death is such a difficult topic because it seems to be the one large issue that our minds never grasp. It’s…

The Circle of Grief

Grief is not linearThere are no fixed points or endings Grief is more circularThere are better days,Where you feel just at the top of the circleThere are sad daysWhere the lows pull you down to the bottomBut, always our hearts, our minds and our spirits are traveling the course of the circle… round and round…Some…

Untitled

“How will I know if he’s dead?” This question came from a woman in her 50s, husband was nearing the end of his life. Does he like change color? She continued, “I’ve never really seen anyone that’s dead before.” The moment of death. The moment where there was once life, a flame, extinguished. Is that…

A Good Nurse

Lately, work has been crazy. There always seems to be a fire to put out. I try to provide education and support to the families, who are in their most emotionally taxing times. Am I doing a good job of it? This always leads me down the rabbit hole of questioning what a good nurse…

No Apologies.

This is one of those straight to the point blogs. I thought about toning it down, but, healthcare workers have been made to be quiet for so long, this won’t be one of those moments. There have been so many changes and upheavals in healthcare over the past few years – Covid, short staffing, burnout…

Because Of The Heart

Last night, I returned home from work somewhere around 7pm. I left my house that morning at 7:30. It was a long and exhausting day. The worst part of it was that I was so busy during the day that I had not charted a syllable on any patient. For those that don’t know about…

The NP Dilemma

I am normally a woman who has no trouble making decisions. Examining the issue, weighing pros and cons and coming up with a reasonably quick answer it typically not a problem. Now, that doesn’t include asking me which restaurant to choose for dinner. But, for the past few years, another difficult dilemma has plagued me.…

The Words

Words hold great power. What we speak carries such weight. This holds especially true when dealing with difficult subject matter. Hospice caregivers are enveloped in that very thin tight rope of sensitive subject matter and profound human emotion. How can we communicate the magnitude of the situation without causing deep emotional upheaval? Die, dying, death……

Home Alone

“But, you are just going to give him to me? How am I going to take care of him at home? On my own?” The words never came out of my mouth, but the thoughts screamed loudly in my mind. I had given birth to a gorgeous baby boy and now, a few days later,…

Gone Fishing

“But, Helen, please do this for me. I just can’t bear to tell them. I don’t want to be the villain. This is my own family we are talking about. They cannot hate me now.” She pleaded with me, with eyes swimming in tears and voice quivering. She was the daughter of a hospice patient.…