Welcome To The Club

Many years ago, before starting nursing school, I never had anything to do with the medical field. I always thought that I’d be squeamish at blood and wouldn’t be able to handle a crisis situation. When we started our clinical program at The Western Pennsylvania Hospital school of nursing, we had to wear a specific… Continue reading Welcome To The Club

Let’s Be Honest

As many know who have read my writings before, I tend to be very transparent with my feelings. Being in hospice has afforded me the opportunity to witness, first hand, the rainbow of emotions that make the human existence. Today’s writing won’t necessarily have to do with hospice specifically, but, is compelled from a place… Continue reading Let’s Be Honest

Addition and Subtraction

“I know you hospice types”, he looked over at me as I jotted down notes, “you are going to admit me now and just start taking away all my medications.” I looked up at him and thought about his words for a second. His eyes glimmered with a bit of mischief but, also reflected his… Continue reading Addition and Subtraction

Courage

I can’t tell you what I am thinking because I know I will cry I am not supposed to cry. Stoic. Steely. Keeping my emotions in check. They belong in my bag.. tucked away with my stethoscope. But, as I see you there… struggling. Your body so tired from the fight. Your spirit heavy with… Continue reading Courage

Don’t Be Scared

Fear is such a confusing feeling. It causes some to run from the object they fear and others towards it. Some fear the actual feeling of fear without knowing what exactly it is they are afraid of. Is it like the young child, who after put to bed, lives each second worrying about the monster… Continue reading Don’t Be Scared

Untitled

Nursing is the most unique of professions. It is done not just by what one is taught in school, but, the tidbits learned through years of experience. There is an intuition that cannot be explained but is almost always spot on. We nurses are a different breed. We run towards situations as others run away.… Continue reading Untitled

When It Becomes A Memory

A moment becomes a memory just that quickly. The people that we see everyday can fade from our lives long before we are ever ready for it. The shock value of losing someone special is normally followed by a wave of regret, grief and sorrow. Regret is a bitter ghost of a reminder of a… Continue reading When It Becomes A Memory

Hidden Hero

I have to share a little secret. I try to stifle it down and silence it, but, it doesn’t always work. It’s something that is so hard to say that I hear my inner voice saying it and am aghast. That just can’t be. You see, sometimes, this hospice nursing thing stinks. It’s hard. It’s… Continue reading Hidden Hero

Lucky

I knew you were dying before I ever laid eyes on you. Arguably, everyone is dying, but, you were really dying. I am a hospice nurse, it’s part of the job description. You see, I play the part of the nurse and you play the part of the patient. That doesn’t make this any easier… Continue reading Lucky

Past Passed

The days are frantic and busy. There are times when it almost feels like your feet are stuck in quicksand – running as fast as I can but, it feels like nothing is getting done. In the midst of it all, the phone never stops. The bings, the ringing, the emails – it seems to… Continue reading Past Passed