Thank You

It’s a little chilly in your bathroom, but, you are sweating and have the fan strategically blowing in your face. Your color is pale, almost like a pre tanned vacation photo except you have look that alerts others you aren’t well. Eyes are sunken, the brightness that once was there is no more. The dark… Continue reading Thank You

That’s A Dirty Word

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels.com

I’ve often noticed that when people ask what I do, the response is often whispered back.  I say I am a hospice nurse and most of the time, the person questioning will say “hospice nurse”, as if it were a bad word, as if by them saying it some crazy thing will happen and it will… Continue reading That’s A Dirty Word

The Hurt Is Worse The Second Time

I am a hospice nurse, I get it.  It’s the job I signed up for.  I know that I will be helping patients, who are terminally ill, live out their final days with dignity, freedom of choice and, as much as I can provide, free of pain.  Often times, as with all things beyond our… Continue reading The Hurt Is Worse The Second Time

The square peg in the round hole

  Cuts heal.  Incisions close. Infections resolve.  But, does the pain of loss ever really heal?  That is a question that I am often asked and quite honestly don’t always have the answer for. The complex manifestation that we call loss is such a convoluted mix of emotions, feelings, thoughts and memories.  Age is a… Continue reading The square peg in the round hole

The Certain Uncertainty

This particular blog has been hard for me to write.  Not because of anything in particular, but because I had the idea for what I wanted to express, but, getting the words to flow together was another story.  My words, just like our lives sometimes do, just would not meld together with any rhythmic flow. … Continue reading The Certain Uncertainty

When Did You Go?

Where you there when you could no longer speak?  Was your soul still present?  Could you hear us all around your bed.. talking with you… sometimes happy.. sometimes sad? When was the moment that you let go? A lot of times, when people are passing, they fall into states where they are no longer responsive. … Continue reading When Did You Go?

A Mixed Bag

As I often do, I found myself thinking about things I could blog about tonight… Should I talk about the lady with dementia who responds to basically no one and nothing but responded to a chocolate doughnut I brought her? Or would it be better to blog about the man, whose wife is clearly passing,… Continue reading A Mixed Bag

Rituals

People often ask often how I cope with seeing so much death… After all, the purpose of my job is to prepare people so that they have a peaceful and pain free passage.  For the vast majority of the patients, death is almost a welcomed event.  While leaving loved ones behind is not always the… Continue reading Rituals

A gut is not always a bad thing

Intuition.  A sense.  A feeling.  Gut instinct.  God’s way of talking to you.  The Universe trying to point you in the right direction.  Nurses are particularly keen to this sort of thing.  For the most part, we can probably eye a patient up and get a sense of things to come.  That’s part of the… Continue reading A gut is not always a bad thing

The Lucky Ones

When we are born, there is typically an army of people gathered to help.  The doctor, the nurses, the pediatrician and let’s not forget the excited family members.  Surrounded by love and kindess, a newborn transitions into this world knowing on some level that they are not alone.  If no one has noticed, hospice has… Continue reading The Lucky Ones