My Own Mortality

Nobody thinks it will happen to them. We look around at our loved ones or our friends and we are don’t often think of them dying. We see them call mom, vibrant and alive. Death is such a difficult topic because it seems to be the one large issue that our minds never grasp. It’s…

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“How will I know if he’s dead?” This question came from a woman in her 50s, husband was nearing the end of his life. Does he like change color? She continued, “I’ve never really seen anyone that’s dead before.” The moment of death. The moment where there was once life, a flame, extinguished. Is that…

A Good Nurse

Lately, work has been crazy. There always seems to be a fire to put out. I try to provide education and support to the families, who are in their most emotionally taxing times. Am I doing a good job of it? This always leads me down the rabbit hole of questioning what a good nurse…

No Apologies.

This is one of those straight to the point blogs. I thought about toning it down, but, healthcare workers have been made to be quiet for so long, this won’t be one of those moments. There have been so many changes and upheavals in healthcare over the past few years – Covid, short staffing, burnout…

Because Of The Heart

Last night, I returned home from work somewhere around 7pm. I left my house that morning at 7:30. It was a long and exhausting day. The worst part of it was that I was so busy during the day that I had not charted a syllable on any patient. For those that don’t know about…

The Words

Words hold great power. What we speak carries such weight. This holds especially true when dealing with difficult subject matter. Hospice caregivers are enveloped in that very thin tight rope of sensitive subject matter and profound human emotion. How can we communicate the magnitude of the situation without causing deep emotional upheaval? Die, dying, death……

Home Alone

“But, you are just going to give him to me? How am I going to take care of him at home? On my own?” The words never came out of my mouth, but the thoughts screamed loudly in my mind. I had given birth to a gorgeous baby boy and now, a few days later,…

The Weight.

My blog has been quiet lately. I haven’t found myself in the correct headspace to actually write. I would start a post and then just abandon it because the words sounded choppy and there was no connection to it. My innermost voices have been a symphony of different emotions, one jockeying harder than the others…

Welcome To The Club

Many years ago, before starting nursing school, I never had anything to do with the medical field. I always thought that I’d be squeamish at blood and wouldn’t be able to handle a crisis situation. When we started our clinical program at The Western Pennsylvania Hospital school of nursing, we had to wear a specific…

Let’s Be Honest

As many know who have read my writings before, I tend to be very transparent with my feelings. Being in hospice has afforded me the opportunity to witness, first hand, the rainbow of emotions that make the human existence. Today’s writing won’t necessarily have to do with hospice specifically, but, is compelled from a place…