Welcome To The Club

Many years ago, before starting nursing school, I never had anything to do with the medical field. I always thought that I’d be squeamish at blood and wouldn’t be able to handle a crisis situation. When we started our clinical program at The Western Pennsylvania Hospital school of nursing, we had to wear a specific… Continue reading Welcome To The Club

Let’s Be Honest

As many know who have read my writings before, I tend to be very transparent with my feelings. Being in hospice has afforded me the opportunity to witness, first hand, the rainbow of emotions that make the human existence. Today’s writing won’t necessarily have to do with hospice specifically, but, is compelled from a place… Continue reading Let’s Be Honest

Scream

We have all had these types of visits. The kind that you literally cannot get out of the home fast enough. As I rushed into the safe cocoon of my car, the tears that I had been trying so hard to hide came flooding out. Not wanting to be seen by anyone connected with the… Continue reading Scream

What’s It Worth?

I am exhausted.. it’s been a crazy long day. I left the house this am before having had coffee and returned home, exhausted. Lunch was a diet soda, which I grabbed as I was getting gas. I kept thinking that after the next visit, I would find a decent bathroom to help my screaming bladder,… Continue reading What’s It Worth?

My Own Mirror

I thought a lot about writing a blog entry like this. It’s very personal and raw. It’s something I have struggled with, covertly and then, overtly for many years. Acknowledging it was very freeing because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, anxiety has played such a huge role in my life. My… Continue reading My Own Mirror

Addition and Subtraction

“I know you hospice types”, he looked over at me as I jotted down notes, “you are going to admit me now and just start taking away all my medications.” I looked up at him and thought about his words for a second. His eyes glimmered with a bit of mischief but, also reflected his… Continue reading Addition and Subtraction

Courage

I can’t tell you what I am thinking because I know I will cry I am not supposed to cry. Stoic. Steely. Keeping my emotions in check. They belong in my bag.. tucked away with my stethoscope. But, as I see you there… struggling. Your body so tired from the fight. Your spirit heavy with… Continue reading Courage

Other Nurses are Friends, Not Food

A long time ago, when I was a baby nurse, there was never any real preparation for life on a nursing unit. Sure, we knew what the textbooks said about how to care for a patient. I knew about vital signs and lab results. But, I really never knew about the interpersonal dynamics that can… Continue reading Other Nurses are Friends, Not Food

Don’t Be Scared

Fear is such a confusing feeling. It causes some to run from the object they fear and others towards it. Some fear the actual feeling of fear without knowing what exactly it is they are afraid of. Is it like the young child, who after put to bed, lives each second worrying about the monster… Continue reading Don’t Be Scared

Mirror of Truth

It’s one of those things that gets talked about, but, it is done so in the most abstract of ways. There are enough descriptive words attached to it, that we can imagine it but cannot quite grasp the enormity. It’s just like if you have only read about the Grand Canyon but never actually visualized… Continue reading Mirror of Truth