Gone Fishing

“But, Helen, please do this for me. I just can’t bear to tell them. I don’t want to be the villain. This is my own family we are talking about. They cannot hate me now.” She pleaded with me, with eyes swimming in tears and voice quivering. She was the daughter of a hospice patient.…

Dear Doctor

My crazy week was winding down, finally. Admissions, multiple visits, IDT and unbelievable family issues (literally cannot make some of them up) all stirred together created a week where I am positive I acquired more than a few new silvery strands of hair. But, alas… it wasn’t over until I returned all of my calls……

When The Universe Speaks

Being a hospice nurse is a lot like raising a strong willed toddler. There can be vast shifts in mood without notice… laughing and crying often find the sweet spot where the lines blur. So many things are out of your control.. try as you might, be as proactive as you can, without a doubt…

I Was Angry At the Hospice Nurse, Too…

To the loved ones of hospice patients: I cannot begin to express the amount of gratitude I feel because I was allowed to care for your loved one. You might not realize this, but, I walked this journey with you. Of course, your grief far surpasses anything I could every feel, but your pain has…

Welcome to Sending….

Dear new hospice nurse, Congratulations. For whatever reason, maybe you have decided quality of life is important or maybe you have had a first hand experience, your path has guided you to becoming a hospice RN. Welcome to a whole new way of nursing. On this side we are able to actually get to know…

Forgiving

This idea of a blog post about forgiveness has been floating around in my mind for quite some time. My posts don’t have to come from any one specific incident and this one doesn’t. But rather, from small episodes, which, weave themselves together and set me off pondering. My own life experiences can so often…

When It Is One of Your Own

When my work phone rings early on a day off, I tend to not wake up. When it rings twice, I start to get conscious. By the time it’s the third try and it’s my personal phone, I am wide awake. Before my eyes even opened, I knew it was a phone call I would…

The Weight.

My blog has been quiet lately. I haven’t found myself in the correct headspace to actually write. I would start a post and then just abandon it because the words sounded choppy and there was no connection to it. My innermost voices have been a symphony of different emotions, one jockeying harder than the others…

No Angel

“It takes a special person to be a nurse and it takes an angel to be a hospice nurse” I am no angel I will not always know the perfect thing to say I will not always be on point I am not perfect nor am I an angel, but here is what I am…

I Understand

“Helen,” she said, as she wiped away her tears, “I hope you never have to experience this. I hope you never have to feel what it feels like to be making a decision that could be ending someone’s life.” Her mom had just literally passed, the room still felt like full of her presence. My…